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1. Talk to John 3000.
2. Pick up adaptor/plug.
-Use on the cable and talk to John.
3. Get John in the Mood.
-Pick up Sean Sensualstein record, give ot John 3000.
4. Get Directions from Doug
-Click on mailbox in inventory x2.
-Give postcard to Doug.
5. Talk To Space Cadet.
-Pickup/use TV to get his attention
6. Get Severed head
-Pick up Knife in tree at the the drug dealers gates.
-Pick up rocket at Space Cadets.
-Go to Paradigms shop.
-Pick up ethanol on caravan.
-drop both ethanol and vodka into Igorshki’s bowl.
-Pick up the cone.
-Combine Cone with Rocket.
-Launch rocket at Butt Mountain.
-Use knife on manikin at The Cones junkyard.
-Pick up head.
-Pick up police hat in same area.
-Combine hat and head.
-Go to drug dealer gates and use combined hat and head on intercom.
7. Boosting Thugs
-Talk to drug dealer, convince him to give you drugs for beating boosting thugs
-Controller is shitty and sticky, go to Paradigms shop and pick up a new controller.
-Play Boosting Thugs
-You now need a code to cheat and it’s solution is in the radio advertisements. Specifically the MegaBro advertisements: Zeldario Zany man X Zone is the solution
= Z Z X Z
-Give money to Stef the Octopus, receive drugs.
8. Stupid Robot in my way
-Talk to Robot Henchman.
-Ask him if he has any hopes and dreams.
9. Get Out of Office Jail
-Open left cupboard.
-Pick up cup.
-Pick up marker.
-Combine marker and cup.
-Cut water cooler house with knife.
-Use special DUPA cup on water cooler.
-Drink him to death.
10. Collect The Scientist
10.1 Leg 1
-Pick up lance from the Lobby.
-Use lance on leg in Hallway 1.
10.2 Arm 1
-Pick up arm in Lab
10.3 Leg 2
- Go to the Glam Metal Church.
- Talk to Glam Metal Nun and get toffee.
- Go to vending machine in Hallway 3.
- Use toffee on arm.
- Use toffee arm on Instant Swedish Human.
- Give Instant Swedish Human to leg in Church of Glam.
10.4 Arm 2
- Go to the Elevator
- Look at the code written on the walls Scientists are hot, Maintenance guys are 10x hotter
-Now look at the elevator buttons. Turn on maintenance (top left button) and input the code
Scientists are hot =Lab button x1 Maintenance guys are 10x hotter= Maintenance button x10
-Pick up arm
-Go to the HeadMart
-Try to retrieve head on computer: Should now unlock glitch room.
- Enter Glitch room via Elevator.
-Once gone through the whole sequence, move paradigm close to the foreground till he is large. Choose “lock size” on the interface: Now pick up the paper from recycle bin.
-Choose “pen” on interface. Pick it up.
-Choose “Jacks folder” and use it. Use the Laser gun from it on the email icon.
- Pick up email.
-Combine the paper, the email and the pen.
-Now use the passive aggressive letter on the mailbox.
-Once you have finished turning the wifi on, go back to the Lab, look at the post it notes to get the Scientists name.
-Go back to HeadMart and retrieve the Scientists head from the computer.
-Return all body parts to the Teleport machine in the Lab. Once the cut scene is done, press the yellow button three times.
11. Destroy the Translator
-Clone Paradigm 3 times. Place each clone in each of the four translated areas.
-Use big floppy on the computer after clones are combusted and translator exploded.
12. Collect Ingredients to Defeat Olof
12.1 The Dirt
-Go to Hallway 3 and purchase a screwdriver cupcake with your voucher.
-Click on cupcake in inventory to separate screwdriver.
-Go down the hatch in the Lab and use the screwdriver on Hammer Prodigy.
-Use now flat screwdriver on art piece screw.
-Go to the lobby and the use flat screwdriver on cursed flowers to make it a mini flat screwdriver.
-Go back to the dungeon and use mini flat on the art piece screws.
-Pick up dirt.
12.2 The Seeds
-Go to the Lobby, pick up the bobble head.
-Go to the Church and use the bobble head or use bobble head on the confession box.
-Use the whiskey perfume on the offerings table.
-Pick up donation money.
-Go to hallway 3 and use money to purchase seeds.
-Go to Hallway 2 if you haven’t already, press button and pick up laser pointer.
-Go to Church and challenge Pug to turn based combat.
-Use the laser pointer.
12.4 I Got All The Ingredients
-Go talk to Rebel Leader now that you have all the ingredients.
-Head to the Lobby and use the necklace on the door.
13. Defeat the Water Heater
-Pick up shoe.
-Use shoe on robot poop.
-Use shoe with robot poop on wrench.
-Open slidy door at the top left.
-Use wrench with gears.
-Turn on transfer machine so it breaks.
-Lead Water Heater to the sucking vent.
-Make sure to time it correctly, otherwise Water Heater will move away and poop instead of being sucked up.
14. Scam Nun
-Use Glam Number on Payphone
-Walk towards sloth head and should activate sequence
15. The Final Showdown
-Look at the security terminal.
-Go through the monologue and choose the “actual ending” for the real ending.
-Unplug the potato power.
-Use Knife on Chunder can.
-Pick up the maximum amount of energy bars and one protein bar.
-Give one protein bar to the Gym Rat.
-Eat all the energy bars (You should become super fast).
-Unplug the battery power.
-Use dirt on the poop.
-Use the seeds on the dirt.
-You beat Olof.
16. Doug Epilogue
-Go to Paradigms room, talk to John, ask for Paradigm.
-Keep progressing through screens till you enter Woof Woof tunnel.
-You finished the game!
Hey, it's me. Paradigm's tumour. You might be thinking, what the heck, how do you write with no hands. Well when Paradigm sleeps I catfish people and use them to write various documents of mine. I used to do it legitimately, but you know. Paradigm is broke as shit. Anyway with my vague intution, I basically know how Paradigms life is going to pan out. So here it is. It's my first time writing one these haha, so take it easy on me. I'm just a blob of flesh after all.
Please don't steal.
By: Paradigms Tumour
Email: contact me on Geocities instead please.